Worst. Theme Park. Ever.
Apr. 14th, 2009 07:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
miss_squiddyToday we veered off course for unplanned adventuring at Thorpe Park, as we were on our way past.
We arrived in the car park at 9.45.
It was already busy and there was a big queue for admission, but it was moving fast and there were lots of attendants moving things along. Besides, the park was only due to open at 9.30, so we figured that perhaps they were a little behind schedule.
We bought tickets at 11.08. Eleven. Oh Eight. For thirty five freaking pounds each. THIRTY FIVE.
Nevermind, we thought. We'll make good use of these and went straight in through the gates and into a ride queue. Which didn't move for AGES. Grrrrr.
Slammer was broken.
Stealth was sending empty carriages round in circles.
By 2.30, we'd been on Depth Charge and Nemesis Inferno. And that was it.
Nemesis Inferno claimed to only have a queue time of 40 minutes. 40 minutes on a world revolving three times slower than ours maybe.
We headed to guest services after that and made an official complaint, which involved paperwork and everything. It turns out that they'd been gifting fastrack tickets to anyone who made even the tiniest complaint, meaning that there were huges fasttrack ride queues and that the regular queues were virtually at a standstill - meaning more people complaining...
Pah.
We knew it would be busy because it was the Easter holidays but:
- The queue times were ALL LIES
- So many fasttrack tickets had been sold that the regular queues were at a virtual standstill
- Two of the biggest rides were broken
- They didn't have any operational information boards with queue times or ride updates on them
- Thet were using the speaker systems in the queues to remind people to tie their shoelaces, put out cigarettes and to play 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' at crunchily loud volumes but not to update about rides and queues.
We saw an escaped parakeet. That was the best part of the whole day.
In summary, Thorpe Park is RUBBISH. Do not go there. If you know anyone who is planning to go there, link them to this post.
We arrived in the car park at 9.45.
It was already busy and there was a big queue for admission, but it was moving fast and there were lots of attendants moving things along. Besides, the park was only due to open at 9.30, so we figured that perhaps they were a little behind schedule.
We bought tickets at 11.08. Eleven. Oh Eight. For thirty five freaking pounds each. THIRTY FIVE.
Nevermind, we thought. We'll make good use of these and went straight in through the gates and into a ride queue. Which didn't move for AGES. Grrrrr.
Slammer was broken.
Stealth was sending empty carriages round in circles.
By 2.30, we'd been on Depth Charge and Nemesis Inferno. And that was it.
Nemesis Inferno claimed to only have a queue time of 40 minutes. 40 minutes on a world revolving three times slower than ours maybe.
We headed to guest services after that and made an official complaint, which involved paperwork and everything. It turns out that they'd been gifting fastrack tickets to anyone who made even the tiniest complaint, meaning that there were huges fasttrack ride queues and that the regular queues were virtually at a standstill - meaning more people complaining...
Pah.
We knew it would be busy because it was the Easter holidays but:
- The queue times were ALL LIES
- So many fasttrack tickets had been sold that the regular queues were at a virtual standstill
- Two of the biggest rides were broken
- They didn't have any operational information boards with queue times or ride updates on them
- Thet were using the speaker systems in the queues to remind people to tie their shoelaces, put out cigarettes and to play 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' at crunchily loud volumes but not to update about rides and queues.
We saw an escaped parakeet. That was the best part of the whole day.
In summary, Thorpe Park is RUBBISH. Do not go there. If you know anyone who is planning to go there, link them to this post.
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(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 09:38 am (UTC)But to be honest, there didn't seem to be *that* much worth getting excited about when we got in - I was looking forward to Stealth (which like *all* launched coasters spent more time going round empty than full), but Saw seemed to be an over excited Oblivion (which I can take or leave) - what am I missing?!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-15 03:51 pm (UTC)At it`s best during halloween when there are 3 or 4 genuinely excellent horror mazes on top of the rides.
(1) I went to the "Thorpe Blast" last Feb on the Sunday at the end of half term my logic being the park was only half open which might put people off and the little scrotes had had all week to go and were presumably now shitting it about the homework they had to give in the next day. On this occasion I seemed to call it correctly and was more or less just staying on Stealth and going round again. You may find this is your loophole (but don` blame me if you try and it`s chav central that time round).
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-16 05:40 pm (UTC)